TAS: The amazing power of hair
October 21, 1992
Do you all remember the story of Samson and Delilah? Samson had superhuman strength due to his long hair. Delilah cut his hair while Samson slept and when he awoke he found that he had lost his strength.
Now you may be wondering, "What does this have to do with sports?" Fear not gentle reader, for I will tell you.
Last year I costumed myself as a 50s style beatnik for Halloween. Beatniks were know for their poetry, bongos, black clothes, and most importantly (to this story anyway) their beards. Beatniks wore goatees.
So while the Braves were eking their way through the NLCS against the Pirates, my goatee was growing. I watched with bated breath as the Braves inches their way past the Pirates and come within a whisker (get it?) of beating the Twins in the World Series.
I was disappointed that Cox and Company lost but received a kind of substitute uplift when the Halloween party arrived. My costume was a big hit and everyone loved the goatee. But once Halloween was over I shaved it off and went on my clean-shaven way.
This year the Braves set franchise records in attendance (over three million) and in total games won in the regular season (98). But they have not learned the knack of making the post season games easy.
They almost lost the NLCS this year, but I saved them. You see, I began to wonder how things had changed from last year to this year. As I stroked my chin in silence it came to me. I WAS BEARDLESS!!! Simple, isn't it? All I had to do was grow my goatee back and then the Braves would win. So, Wednesday morning I started regrowing my goat. It must have given Sid Bream that extra half-step towards victory.
People who see me every day will not interject and say, "But [Burb], you don't have a goatee now!" Right. I figured that since I had the hair last year during the World Series, in order to avoid defeat I must shave it this year.
It seemed to work on Saturday night. Damon Berryhill (notice the growth on his face) felt the power of hair and belted a three-run homer into the seats to give the Braves a 3 - 2 win in Game One.
Unfortunately, things slipped a little on Sunday. All-time save leader Jeff Reardon, who sports a fine beard, gave up a two-run, pinch-hit homerun to Ed Sprague in the top of the ninth inning to give the Blue Jays the win and tie the Series at a game apiece.
Who can predict the capricious hair follicle? Certainly not I. Maybe if everyone here at Georgia Southern calls a halt to shaving (faces for the guys and legs for the ladies) we can build up an insurmountable force that no Blue Jay can defeat.
If it works for Mark Lemke, who has a continuous stubble that Don Johnson dreams about, than it can work for us. Lemke, affectionately nicknamed "Dirt" by his 'mates, is known for his post-season heroics.
Throw away your razor blades GSU. It is the least you can do for your team.
Do you all remember the story of Samson and Delilah? Samson had superhuman strength due to his long hair. Delilah cut his hair while Samson slept and when he awoke he found that he had lost his strength.
Now you may be wondering, "What does this have to do with sports?" Fear not gentle reader, for I will tell you.
Last year I costumed myself as a 50s style beatnik for Halloween. Beatniks were know for their poetry, bongos, black clothes, and most importantly (to this story anyway) their beards. Beatniks wore goatees.
So while the Braves were eking their way through the NLCS against the Pirates, my goatee was growing. I watched with bated breath as the Braves inches their way past the Pirates and come within a whisker (get it?) of beating the Twins in the World Series.
I was disappointed that Cox and Company lost but received a kind of substitute uplift when the Halloween party arrived. My costume was a big hit and everyone loved the goatee. But once Halloween was over I shaved it off and went on my clean-shaven way.
This year the Braves set franchise records in attendance (over three million) and in total games won in the regular season (98). But they have not learned the knack of making the post season games easy.
They almost lost the NLCS this year, but I saved them. You see, I began to wonder how things had changed from last year to this year. As I stroked my chin in silence it came to me. I WAS BEARDLESS!!! Simple, isn't it? All I had to do was grow my goatee back and then the Braves would win. So, Wednesday morning I started regrowing my goat. It must have given Sid Bream that extra half-step towards victory.
People who see me every day will not interject and say, "But [Burb], you don't have a goatee now!" Right. I figured that since I had the hair last year during the World Series, in order to avoid defeat I must shave it this year.
It seemed to work on Saturday night. Damon Berryhill (notice the growth on his face) felt the power of hair and belted a three-run homer into the seats to give the Braves a 3 - 2 win in Game One.
Unfortunately, things slipped a little on Sunday. All-time save leader Jeff Reardon, who sports a fine beard, gave up a two-run, pinch-hit homerun to Ed Sprague in the top of the ninth inning to give the Blue Jays the win and tie the Series at a game apiece.
Who can predict the capricious hair follicle? Certainly not I. Maybe if everyone here at Georgia Southern calls a halt to shaving (faces for the guys and legs for the ladies) we can build up an insurmountable force that no Blue Jay can defeat.
If it works for Mark Lemke, who has a continuous stubble that Don Johnson dreams about, than it can work for us. Lemke, affectionately nicknamed "Dirt" by his 'mates, is known for his post-season heroics.
Throw away your razor blades GSU. It is the least you can do for your team.
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posted by David at 12:37 AM
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